Lessons from Lent: on sacrifice and humility

I want to tell you all about a lesson I've learned over the last week about the right and wrong way to make a decision about sacrificing something, and how important humility is in that decision.  I'm going to tell it through the lens of Lent.  But before I get going I want to issue this disclaimer:  I haven't spoken about my faith before because I strive to keep this blog relatively light-hearted, and because I believe that we each have a unique relationship to our existence, and the right to interpret that existence (atheist, agnostic, believer) in whichever way we choose.  M'kay? Let's all be friends.

Anyway, let me get on with it - Wednesday of last week was the start of Lent, which is a solemn time of 40 days of fasting/sacrifice, prayer and reflection in the Christian Church.   Last Wednesday, I impulsively decided that for my Lenten sacrifice I would give up my nightly cocktail, and then announced my decision on Facebook for all my friends and family to see.  While I had good intentions, I realize now that I made that decision for all the wrong reasons.

(Wrong) Reason #1: While this was a worthy gesture of Lenten fasting because I really LIKE my glass of wine or beer each night, when I made my decision public, it went from being something that should have been quiet, internal, and contemplative to a big deal, with a fair share of boastfulness and swagger.  

(Wrong) Reason #2:  Instead of thinking about the spiritual and emotional benefits I would gain from participating in this sacrificial gesture, I focused on my pride - anticipating murmurs of approval from family members, and even going so far as to think, "ohhh I bet I'll lose some weight, I should weigh myself at the start of the 40 days and again at the end and see if I'm down a few pounds."   (In case you haven't guessed, this is not the point of Lent.)

I'll spare you the suspense - it's probably not a big surprise to hear that in the past week I succumbed to temptation and had a glass of wine (or two).  Trust me, it was a glass of wine with a lot of baggage and all of it was prideful.   From the my first sip I was thinking "what will others think?  Will they be scornful of my weak will?  Will they say cruel or hurtful or judgemental things?  Will I look like a fool for having made this a big deal publicly?"  Again, NOT the point of Lent.  (Thank goodness for forgiveness - I'll get 'em next year, J!)

But, sacrifices - rightly or wrongly made - don't just happen at Lent.  A sacrifice doesn't have to be tied to a spiritual practice.  We all make sacrifices everyday - we sacrifice eating food we love to go on diets, we sacrifice our beloved wine or beer to go on the wagon, we sacrifice our fun diversions by trying to not spend so much money, we sacrifice sleep to exercise, or sacrifice time to ourselves to volunteer in our communities or do things for our family members or friends.  Maybe you haven't thought about it this way before, but making a decision to diet or start a new routine is a form of sacrifice. 

And here's what I've learned:  Any sacrifice, whether it be abstaining from something (dieting, giving up something you like to do), or adding something new to your life (a workout regime, volunteering your time), that comes from a boastful or prideful place is doomed to eventual failure because you aren't doing it for yourself.  You're doing it for the attention and admiration from others. 

In other words, if you're considering starting up an intense workout regime because it's badass and other people will admire your dedication, hold on.  If you're looking in the mirror and wanting to diet because you want people tripping all over themselves to tell you how gorgeous you look, wait.  If you're thinking about volunteering somewhere because you want to be known as the really generous, big-hearted community member, back it up.  All of those reasons have nothing to do with you.  You are making a decision to sacrifice something to gain the approval of others.  And let me tell you - cause I know from immediate experience - that dog won't hunt. 

So my dears, if you decide to make a sacrifice - whether it be starting a workout routine...or diet...or abstaining from something...or volunteering your time, do it because it will make you, and you alone happy.  As in, you'd be okay with no one ever knowing that you were waking up at 4:00am to run, or only eating whole grains and lean protein, or heading up the staff at your local food kitchen.  You would know, and that humble knowledge would be enough - in fact it would be more than enough.  That is the lesson that I learned this week.

Photo by davidh_

 
Imperfectly yours,
xoxo
MF