Y'all. I promised you that I would be keeping it real here on Modern Femme. And let me tell you:
1. I haven't made my bed in weeks - and the worst part is that I don't care. Not because I no longer care about the divine pleasure of crisp and perfumed sheets, but because I'm too dang tired.
2. Since Mr. MF finished our basement, we've been eating tv in front of the television more often than not...we used to eat at the dining room table with place mats and cloth napkins and candles. Like grown-ups.
3. Laundry is my nemesis and never. seems. to. be. done.
4. I can't find my bluetooth headset. No idea where it went. It grew legs and walked away. This is annoying because I talk to my mother every morning and this morning had to hold the phone to my ear while balancing an umbrella, a glowing green smoothie and two bags on my walk to work.
5. Work. Ugh.
I could go on...but I'm going to stop there. No one likes a big whiner.
You know what? Maybe, in stopping there, I'll take a step back and look at the story I just told you all. Those five points are definitely a "glass half empty" view on my day-to-day. I wonder, what if I flipped my perspective? What if, instead of complaining and being a victim of my life, I presented the above situations as the results of choices I've made? After all, as Claire said in her Embracing Change post, you always have a choice:
1. For the past few weeks, I've made the choice to sleep in an extra 10 minutes in a warm toasty bed, instead of making the bed.
2. I make the choice at night to eat dinner out of a bowl on the couch with my husband, laughing together at bad tv, enjoying our new family room, rather than sitting down at the dining room table.
3. Maybe laundry never seems to be done because I'm always doing a load of laundry, since the washer and dryer are easily accessible from our new family room. But, I haven't run out of undergarments, and I always have clean clothes for Bebe. I'm just choosing to look at it as a glass-half empty situation.
4. I made the (foolish) choice to absent-mindedly stash my bluetooth somewhere obscure, and I keep making the choice to not tear the house apart looking for it. Instead, I often opt for another glass of wine and television surfing with the hubs, which, let's be honest, is a nicer way to unwind than hunting high and low for a small earpiece.
5. This is the biggest choice that I make, over and over again, everyday. I choose to come into a job that I know that I've grown out of, that doesn't capitalize on my talents, and that leaves me drained. I make a choice to complain about it instead of proactively doing something about it. I make a choice to shy away from considering what I might really want to do, because of my nasty inner critic's monologue (you might be familiar with it "it won't work...stay with what's safe...you'd never be good at that...you'd hate that eventually...). But in knowing this, I am in control of this situation, and I need my next choice to be what I'm going to do to change it.
Wow. That was really powerful for me, guys. I started this blog post feeling sorry for myself, but now I'm feeling a little more empowered. I think I'm onto something here. Thanks Claire!
Imperfectly yours,
xoxo,
MF
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